No Husband, No Go? What to Do When Contractors Want Both Spouses Present to Seal the Deal

But Christensen says she learned firsthand how that’s not always the case when she tried to find a contractor to get an estimate from NewSouth Window Solutions, near Orlando, Florida.

“When I called for an appointment, they wouldn’t set an appointment for myself only,” the Orlando Angie’s List member says. “Even after I told them I was in charge of the window replacement with my husband’s full knowledge and blessing, and that I would be making the purchasing decisions and writing the check, they told me it was company policy.”

She ultimately hired a different company that had no such requirements. She later submitted an F review for NewSouth’s Orlando location, its only review on Angie’s List.

NewSouth president Earl Rahn says he believes this was a misunderstanding. “We don’t have such a requirement, and if the perception is we did, then shame on us,” he says. “We’re coming to see people who have invited us into their homes, and we want to leave a wonderful impression. Anyone here who did something like this would be dismissed immediately.”

Highly rated contractors say their policies differ on the need to have all decision-makers present, but they agree service providers shouldn’t treat it as a deal-breaking requirement, nor should contractors automatically assume who the decision-makers might be.

Jason Hampel, co-owner of Moss Building & Design in Chantilly, Virginia, says he doesn’t consider such requirements to be customer-friendly. “People are spending anywhere from $500 to a million bucks with us, and everyone has their own process as a family to make decisions,” he says. “It’s not up to us to dictate what that process is. I’ve done $300,000 jobs where I never even met one of the spouses.”

He cautions homeowners to be wary of high-pressure sales tactics with contractors that insist on both decision-makers being present upfront. “The only time you need all decision-makers at the initial meeting is when you’re trying to do the old-fashioned one-day close, which I don’t think is healthy for a client,” he says. “As long as you understand upfront how everyone is going to process the various decisions, you should be good. I’ve found that some of my competitors try that with their customers, and they end up very offended.”

Lauren Ard of Tucson, Arizona, took offense when she called Tucson Windows & Doors for an estimate to get work done on a house she and her husband had recently purchased. She says the company called the day before the appointment to make sure both she and her husband would be at the estimate, and then canceled the appointment when she said only she would be present.

“They were more than happy to talk to me over the phone, but refused to come and do a detailed estimate without my husband present,” the Angie’s List member says. “We had recently purchased the house, and I had many contractors come through the door since it needed a ton of work. No other company insisted my husband be present, and all happily took a check from my husband’s checkbook without batting an eye.”

Tucson Windows & Doors office manager Christine Stewart says Ard’s experience does indeed reflect the company’s policy, which helps avoid future problems.

“We find it’s more time-efficient and fuel-efficient to get everybody at the presentation the first time,” she says. “We ask for both homeowners to be present because we have to have permission from anybody listed on the deed to make changes to the home. We run into a lot of different questions during the presentation, and we’ve found that most people do want their spouse to be involved in those decisions.”

Scott Siegal, president of Certified Contractors Network, which provides sales and management training to 350 contractors nationwide, says he advises service providers to meet one or both homeowners at the initial estimate, and then ask that both homeowners be present for the second meeting where specifics will be discussed.
 
“That way, everyone is clear about what will take place and when,” he says. “We found that the most dissatisfaction comes from a missed communication or an unrealized expectation on the job, and that’s usually a result of not everybody being involved in the buying process. It’s nobody’s fault, just a bad circumstance, such as when the husband insists that he makes all the decisions, the contractor presents something to him and the wife doesn’t like the color or style, or vice versa. It’s a whole lot easier if everybody’s on the same page.”

Ulises Alanis, owner of Alanis Development Corporation in Chicago, says he takes care early on in the process to clarify who the decision-makers are, but leaves it up to the clients to decide who needs to be involved. “For most of my Angie’s List clients, I would say about 80 percent of the time I only spoke with one decision-maker out of a couple,” he says. “I’m flexible with what they want and leave it up to them. All I need from them is to know what they want and what budget they’re working with.”

Linda Rogers says American Home Design, based in Goodlettsville, Tennessee, canceled two appointments in 2013 about a sunroom addition when they learned her husband wouldn’t be present. She says the company’s insistence ultimately hurt their own bottom line.

“I found it incredulous that I would be treated like ‘the little woman’ who was unable to make decisions related to doing work on a home,” the Nashville member says. “The person I spoke to on the phone said she understood it could be offensive, but that it was their wish to visit when both husband and wife were present. I was insulted and used another builder.”

Mikele Goodchild, American Home Design director of marketing, says Rogers’ experience doesn’t reflect the company’s policy. “We meet with just one decision-maker all the time,” she says. “It’s not our policy to require both to be there, although we do encourage that all homeowners and decision-makers be there when we come out.

“It’s unfortunate that this one person took it the wrong way and took offense, but we would have gone out there to meet her by herself,” she says. “We do think it makes sense to have all parties there when we come out.”

Editor's note: This is an updated version of an article originally posted on March 10, 2014.